1. If my children were predictable and manageable I would be able to accomplish all of my to-do list.
2. I am a task oriented person. I feel like a failure when I do not accomplish my goals for the day.
3. My children are most definitely NOT predictable nor are they manageable.
4. Chocolate is amazing, miraculous even.
5. I am blessed by a hubby who is willing to put off his to-do list so he can help me finish mine.
Here's hoping for a much better tomorrow!
The dishes didn't get done last night. Wait, let me rephrase that. I learned in my psychology courses that stating it that way removes me from the cause-and-effect. So, I'll try again. I didn't do the dishes last night. There. I admitted it. I chose to not do the dishes.
This was a conscious choice. A purposeful non-action. It was also the first time since becoming a stay-at-home mom that I didn't accomplish all of my daily tasks on my checklist. You see, I'm somewhat (ok...super) task oriented. If it's on the list it gets done. Period. So this was a big step. I decided that since my 2 month old was finally asleep at a decent hour I would choose to go to bed. To cuddle my sweet hubby. To talk and giggle. To celebrate a sleeping baby. (plus, I'm super sick and welcomed extra sleep!) So, the dishes sat. All night. Not even rinsed. (it's ok, you can judge me. Really. It's ok)
Then, I woke up late (sad when "late" is 6am). And my sleeping baby woke up early. Not even time for a shower before the hubs left. Dirty dishes, dirty Vanessa, dirty laundry (no time to start that either).
Not a good start. Craig joked that I was having an out-of-the-box morning. So, embracing that concept I got both kids ready early and went to the gym. Not to work out. Oh, no. To shower. :) Yep. That's thinking outside the box! Dropped the kids off at the child care center at the gym and I took a long, hot shower (heehee).
I guess God is teaching me that it is ok to not do it all. There is always provision for what is important (like personal hygiene). The other stuff is just that; stuff. It is people who matter. Taking time with Craig matters. And ya know what? The dishes were rinsed and in the dishwasher before I left for the gym. Fully clean when I got home. No big deal. :)
So...here's to living a life that's people centered, not task oriented!
I'm sure most of you won't be able to relate to this, but if you know me at all you know I'm slightly controlling, a bit of a germaphobe, and I like things to be well planned. Needless to say, having a 3 year old and a newborn stretches me daily.
A few weeks ago it was raining; a nice, gentle, steady rain. I told Elianna that if she took a good nap we'd play in the rain when she woke up. By the time she woke up the rain had stopped. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to play in the rain, getting wet and cold and probably dirty. This relief was short lived however as I watched her little heart break when she realized we wouldn't get to play. And so, in a moment of insanity/guilt/rare impulsiveness I offered, "we could play in the puddles!"
"What!", I thought, "what did you just say?"
Oh, the joy on her sweet little face! I couldn't take it back. Darn.
So out we went. Much to my horror the only puddles I saw were in the gutter. Oh no, she'd seen the puddles too. No getting out of it now. Crap. Breathing deeply, calming my nerves, putting on a brave face (poor kid is already neurotic enough with me as her mom she doesn't need one more thing to worry about) we went into the puddle. The puddle that was in the gutter. IN THE GUTTER! Ugh. Did I mention that we were barefoot? Yes. Barefoot. In a gutter. A GUTTER! Ok. I think you get it, I was not thrilled. I resisted every natural impulse and we played. For 10 minutes (baby steps, ok?) we played in the gutter puddle (gag). A dead bee floated by. She screamed (told you she was neurotic). I played it off, telling her it was ok (puke). I even gave her a stick to poke the bee with. Now, what did I want to do? I wanted to go back inside and give her a good lecture on decomposition and bacteria and scrub us both down with antibacterial soap (I would say bleach but I'm scared of bleach - more on that in another post). So see, I ignored my instincts and instead we played. She had a blast, swishing her hands in the muck, getting mud between her toes (still grosses me out). I tolerated it, choosing to focus on her delight instead of my impulses. I loved watching her play. It was fantastic! And after 10 minutes we went inside and I scrubbed us both down with antibacterial soap! :) We both got to do what we wanted! Though instead of a talk about germs I just asked her if she'd had fun.
The best part? We didn't die. We didn't contract a rare skin disease. We didn't even get sick. I guess there are worse things than germs; like missing out on a super sweet moment with my super sweet little girl.
