To say I've been stressed out lately would be an understatement. Craig's contract at South Middle School was not renewed, he has joined the Army Reserves which means he leaves for Basic in May, he may end up doing AIT back to back with Basic which would mean he'd be gone until October or November (of course we won't know that until we've exhausted the job search for next year), and I've been working every evening for the last couple months - sometimes at both jobs leaving little time for date nights.
To cope, I have had a desire to be creative: to paint and make jewelry but haven't had a chance. My insomnia has been horrible allowing for only 3-5 hours of sleep a night. And my massive intake of sugar has left me broken out, fluffy, and with a massive sinus infection.
This past weekend I was in Boulder for my Crossfit Level 1 certificate training and I finally caught on to my need for expression so at 3am I grabbed the hotel pen and notepad and got to writing. And the result is two poems and many tears and a better grasp of my emotions.
At Craig's prodding here are the poems:
Untitled
Racing thoughts through a slowing body,
Beatings of a frenzied heart.
Silence slowly swirls around me;
Lost, at least for now, in part.
Words and pictures overwhelming,
The future now at hand.
The weight of sorrow tempts to crush me-
When at last - I stand.
In Truth
When the lies of sin scream;
Your truth is the whisper of peace.
When worry swarms - dark;
Your truth is blinding light.
When sorrow pervades;
Your truth is the joy in the morning.
When loneliness cuts deeply;
Your truth cherishes fully.
When doubts multiply;
Your truth is my promise.
When I am found wanting;
Your truth provides.
When life overwhelms;
Your truth sustains.
When I seek escape from life;
Your truth gives fulfillment.
When shame compels hiding;
Your truth finds in love.
When all I have is lacking;
Your truth is bountiful.
When silence engulfs;
Your truth speaks.
