Homeless

We are currently in the midst of a very big life transition for our family.  My husband is moving into active duty Army from his current service as a Reservist.  He’s only been in the Reserves a year but he loves it so much he’s going full-time.  That process as a whole has been interesting.  “Hurry up and wait”, no truer words have ever been spoken in regards to the military.  Due to several mistakes (mostly on the part of his Unit Administrator) he was delayed for training.  Of course, we didn’t find this out until I’d already made plans to spend the three months we expected him to be gone with my mom and step dad.  So, we’d already given up our lease on the house we were renting, I’d purchased one-way tickets to the Pacific Northwest, and I’d braced the kids for a big transition; only to find out my husband wasn’t going to training in June but rather, the end of August. 

Off we went, leaving the hubby behind to work and save money, him staying at a local conference center/ campsite dormitory.  His plan was to meet up with us in the Pacific Northwest at the beginning of August to spend two weeks with us before leaving (finally) for training in August.  Well, things worked out differently than we’d planned (surprise) and we flew back out to my dad’s house in the mid-west to stay with him, altogether, as a family for a month and a half.  In September, the kids and I (hubby will be at his training) will fly to the east coast to visit with my sister for about 6 weeks until the hubs graduates.  After that, it’s onto our first duty station and (hopefully) some stability. 

All this to say, we’re in the middle of about 6 months of being homeless.  Not living-on-the-streets homeless, just without our own place.  We are dependent, completely, on the goodwill of others.  Talk about humbling!  This post, and at least the next post, will be related to the lessons I’ve learned thus far in regards to our living conditions.  Though, I suspect there will be many further posts referring back to this state, considering how far reaching one’s living conditions are. 

The first, and most important lesson I’ve learned is the importance of building a strong community around yourself.  Though I have been, and will be, staying with family the friends around me have been vital! My most important task upon reaching the Pacific Northwest was to find a church that was ready and willing to connect with us.  After four weeks of attempting to find that at my mom’s church, and failing, I set off on my own and was met with success.  I have to say, it was terrifying.  I found a women’s Bible study and went.  I know connections are easier on a one-on-one level and so I figured a Bible study would be better than the church service.  There is honestly nothing scarier than to walk into a room full of women you don’t know.  I was emotionally raw and super vulnerable.  Rather than hiding that, I embraced it.  Why the fear?  Well, as the former fat kid/dorky nerd girl (formerly fat, still dorky and nerdy) I got a lot of teasing as a kid.  I struggled with OCD issues and had a lot of odd habits that were easy targets for the bullying sort.  My sister used to walk me to school on a leash and have the special needs kids pet me. Yeah. I struggled to fit in. I get it.  I really do.  It’s hard to be vulnerable.  To open yourself up to be hurt.  Something happens after our school years and it becomes really hard to let others in.  It takes tons of persistence and an insane vulnerability to make good friends. But it is worth it.  So very worth it! 

 I scanned a room of about 8 huge round tables and picked one.  I walked up to a table half-full and asked, “May I join you?” And what do you know!  They all smiled and said, “Yes!” No horns.  No snickering. No judging.  Just honest acceptance.  Praise the Lord! By the end of our two hours together I had found my new tribe! It was heartbreaking to leave those beautiful women when the time came.

The most valuable lesson I have learned in my life to date is the importance of investing in people.  Not only is it important because it forces you to be less selfish (maybe one day I’ll write a whole blog on just that), but it is important because when life gets hard the investment carries a return.  Here in the mid-west I had/have a wonderful group of friends to rely on.  These are the women I go to when the kids drive me crazy, when my life is too much, when life is fantastic and I just need to celebrate.  They’re like sisters to me.  I pray for them daily.  I am blessed to know them.  When they hurt, I hurt.  That kind of friendship.  Being used to that and then leaving left me feeling quite disjointed.  I knew that it was important to find women in my new area to invest in.  By going to a smaller group setting and putting myself out there (even fearing rejection) I showed them that I was in it to win it!  I would encourage you to see who you can connect with, who you can serve.  You may be surprised, and amazingly blessed, with the results.